Will You Hate Me?

you smile in the two way mirror of my eyes,
i put on my faith like i wear disguise,
you can't see my soul, see the life that i lived,
but, i show you the mask of the best i can give,
i've hid here,afraid, like a child behind,
the truth of the thoughts that clutter my mind.
what if you knew,about all that i do?
the things that i think...the me that is true?
would you call me a hypocrite?call me a liar?
would you curse out my name?
would you damn me to fire?
would you know what to say?
would you just walk away, afraid the me'i've tried to hide,
would too closely resemble the truth of you that lies inside?
i've been looking for answers since becoming adult,
not looking for dogma to live like a cult,
i've been looking to live,i've been living to find,
freedom from cages that limit my mind.
i've been running and hiking and dreaming of flying
but falling and stumbling never shadowed my trying,
so now here i am before God and you,
showing my face and my true self to you.
i'm not scared of God, i trust God understands,
but i'm still wandering if you will still offer your hands
will i scare you?upset you?frustrate you?irrate you?
challenge your lifestyle or weaken your trust?
or will you see my effort?my passion?sincerity?
will you see just a little of yourself in me?
will you take off your mask so we can both be free?

~:.Learning to See the TRUTH behind it:.~

bl anda tgk gambar ats ni, apa yg anda fikir?

bila tgk gmbar ats tue? cube fikir dan refleks kan keadaan atau gmbar ats tue dgn hidup kite, dgn reality yg kita kn hadapi setiap hari. gambar ats tue, llaki yg pgang belon tue, mungkin s'org

• businessman
• ahli politik
• cikgu, guru besar, pengetua
• pegawai kerajaan
• salesman
• manager
• penganggur ys tgah cr kerja
• pensyarah
• peguam
• hakim
• pengutip cukai

kemudian, tgk expressi wajah dia, mgkin tgah marah, sdih, fed-up, bengang. kenapa? mungkin dia seorang businessman yg tgah alami kerugian, poltician yg baru lepas kalah dlm pilihan raya, peguam yg kalah dlm kes nya kat mahkamah, salesman yg baru lps kena baling pinggan dgn suri rumah sbb nak mnjual brg dya, penganggur yg baru lpas kn reject ms nak cari kerja, pengutip cukai yg tgah mmikir cm ne nak kejar org yg liat nak byr cukai, pegawai kerajaan yg tgah mmikir cm ne nak tgkap org yg makan rasuah, manager yg lpas kn marah dgn boss sbb company x untung mcm2 lg la.

selalu nya bila kita nmpak org buat muka smug, muka sombong, muka sdih mcm tue, slalu kita engat org niey, sombong la, msalah la, blagak la, gila la mcm2 lagi, tak perlu ckp anda lah, saya pon mcm tue (muhasabah diri huhuhu) n kita pon slalu nak jauh dr org mcm ni, kononnye bahaya takut t dye nek gila ka, takut t kena mrh ke, masalah, kot2 t dya mncuri ka, bukn x taw. huhu, tkot nak senyum, t dia kata aku mnat dya la, dia ney gila la mcm2.

tapi, cuba byg kalu kita d tmpat dya, pe yg kita rasa? pa yg kita nak wat? pa yg kita pikir? cam na nak handle? mmg hidop ko hidop ko, hidop aku, hidop aku, bila mati kubur lain2, lantak la pa yg aku nak wat, ape ko sibuk tapi, tak tpikir ke, x salah mnolong ssm kita, tak da la msalah umah jiran kena rompak, jiran sebelah tak tahu pa smpai polis dtg. aduhai, bkn nak ngarut tp nak gtaw, nak kongsi pndapat, taku t da jd msalah x sempat. apa yg nk ckp ialah, jgn tgk sorg tue trus kita nk wat assumption, tgk org yg masam muka nya, kata dya masalah, gila la, cuba tnya lu x pon observe lu, t kalu slh tnggapan, x ke malu. x semestinya org yg nmpak mesra, tue baik. begitulah sebaliknya.

cuba tgk gmbar tue skali lagi, dya pgang belon, gmbar diri dya sdg tsenyum, mkne nye, dye tpksa tnjuk kan yg dye happy even dye sdeyh, coz tkot t org ckp dye smbong, n nak gtaw yg "SAYA NI MESRA ORANG NYA YA!" huhuhu cm tue la kot tafsirannnya. don't judge the book by it's cover, sng citer. kdg2 org tue nmpak baik, tp sbaliknya?

cnth, businessman tue, nmpk dya cm jhat. tp mgkin dya buat bsnes dgn btul,x tpu duet bg tp org lain yg senyum smpe tlinga x hbes2 tu tpu duet org, sludup, bapak along suma ada, then cnth peguam tu plak, dya yg dok bgai nak rak bjuang dmi keadilan kat lm mahkamah tp org lain yg kaya sket, bg rasuah pa la, tpu bukti la pa la, smpe slamat org jahat, tkorban la org yg baik, innocent x slh tue. bkn nk mngata sapa2 x da niat, tp ney sbnrnya realiti kita, mcm yg dgmbar dlm drama tv oor mungkin lbh lagi.

so, learn to see the TRUTH behind it! blajar mlihat yg tsirat bkn yg tsurat. ada sorg kwn prnah ckp :

lihat pakai mata, jgn percaya,

dengar dgn telinga, jgn percaya,

fikir dengan akal,

tulah sifat insan yg nyata..

maaf kalu ada mngguris hati sapa2 mcm ckp td la, bkn nk mngumpat ke nk mnyibok, juz nak bagi pndapat n nasehat, tkut t x sempat. ini ikhlas dr hati ntok suma dan diri sendiri harap x da sapa terasa hati :)

madu yg kau lihat mgkin sebenarnya racun yg bersedia untuk mmbunuhmu dengn sekali teguk!

ubat yg kau lihat mgkin sebenarny ectasy yg mnunggu untuk memusnahkan hidup mu,

permata yg kau lihat mgkin sbnrnya batu yg tiada nilai nya,

mawar yg kau lihat mgkin bukan penawar yg kau cari,

be urself

a friend of mine once said that be urself
pretending is just making it worst
i thought about it
it's trua that we should value ourself first then others
u r just making urself miserable by pretending of being somebody else
remember, life is not perfect, it is messy so don't mess it up
and turned it to be more worst.
he also said that
changes is made by heart not people
u change and improve urself as u want to not becoz of other people
yes, changing by heart is permanent but changing by people, once again
u r ruining ur life.
show urself
value urself
what to be afraid for?
u r worth it,
the greatest thing create for us is our own self,
don't b sorry for that n don't hesitate to show urself
let the world know's ur existence!

I'm extraversion

td br je complete 1 personality test
(ilham from 5 thn 5 bln-Hlovate)
and here's da result:

This means you are more likely to be:

Let's make work fun :Free-spirited, nervy and nonconforming. If the work is not fun, tends to avoid or drop the issue and move on to something different.

Very sociable type who enjoys high energy and jovial interaction.

Can keep many projects moving at once.

Strength is allowing others to be different and work at an individual pace.

-----> Good in big, bureaucratic organizations. <------

Can work the system for the good of all involved.

hrp2 la jd knyataan ayat ney

"good in big,bureaucratic company"

ok,mmg la owg ckp x ckup kalu setakat mkn gaji je

but, as for me

i'll take it as sumthng yg good la

kalu sumer nak msok bisnes,nak mniaga,

sapa yg nak mkn gaji?

heheh

rasulullah pon ckp meniaga ney sgt digalakkkan

tp aku taw yg aku x bp buleh meniaga neyh

coz aku akn cpt tensi, dpt duet t hah! mcm2 aku wat

slap2 rugi bisnes den! heheheh

dats y la dlu ml2 bisnes is da course yg x pnah msok list aku pon

but,i don't know how did i ended up here in Business Information System

mungkin Allah nak tnjuk kot.

g pon mak slalu pesn,"bnda yg pling kiter x suker tue slalu nye kiter akn dpt"

thanx God, now i can adapt to this course n i find many interesting things about this course

it really help me!

dulu aku pnah tfikir ntok jd ckgu sains or cikgu bio

bcoz, nak gbung kan sumer ilmu yg aku dpt ms kat skulah

ie: debate,biology,english,students,kids

these r things dat i enjoyd most in schools

if u asked me y am i here in UTP n not in maktab?

answ: i didn't apply for maktab perguruan

n if u asked me y i didn't applied 4 maktab

answ: i don't know.. *blur**thinking**wat muka cumeyl*

hhahha

seriously,I DON'T KNOW!

mungkin ney takdir hidup aku kot

ape yg kiter nak tue Allah akn bg dlm 3 cara:

• Allah bagi apa yg kita minta terus bila kita minta
• Allah bagi apa yg kita minta tp lmbat sket bila masanya dah tiba
• Allah tak bagi apa yg kita minta dya bg yg lbih dari itu

i'm not good in hadith tp kalu x silap,aku pnah trbaca pasl permintaan manusia ney

n dis is it la..well,mmg la x sbijik2 dr hadith tue coz aku da lupa tp ney la yg aku pegang selama ini

kalu slh,i am sory coz saya x pndai...

br teringat,da lm x post masterpiece ku dlm blog ney kan..

jap,nak pk idea t i'll post my new poems k